The day after

I've found that some days just turn out better than I ever expected them to.Yesterday was one of those days. I spent the day in the company of friends I don't get to see often and enjoyed every moment of it.

We started our day at 9 a.m. with a breakfast of Lucky Charms and espresso stout, and it only improved from there. It ended about 10 p.m. after a dinner of grilled chicken, asparagus, and Bloody Marys.

And the sun shone all day!

Good.

It’s good. It’s all good. And it is scaring the crap out of me because it’s like we’ve not been apart for 20 years and he’s not free to be mine yet and there’s no telling how long his divorce is going to drag out and he appears to be the same sweet guy he was way back then but there’s an edge of bitterness to him now that breaks my frickin’ heart. (ok. I’m breathing now.) We talked about his kids. There’s still a lot left to talk about in that regard. We’ve talked about serious shit and shit that doesn’t matter at all. All I know is that I want to spend more time with him. Lots and lots of time. I want to know if he’s the same sweet guy he was back then…not just speculate about it.

I’m glad he tracked me down (so very, very glad) but at the moment, I can't help but think it might have been better for my sanity if he would’ve waited until after the papers were signed.

That smell - 100 Words, plus 106.

I've heard that smell is one of the strongest sense triggers of memories. I scoffed at the idea of this. How in the world could smell trigger memories? Memories are visions. I remember distinctly the color of the sky on that day in '77 when the world turned green during that storm, but I don't remember the smell of the rain. I remember the sunlight bouncing off my brother's hair as we played in the pool on hot summer days in '84, but I don't remember the smell of the chlorine. I remember the look on my best friend's face when she told me in '01 that she was pregnant but I don't remember the smell of the lunch we were eating. Tonight, science was proved right: the smells trigger the memories, the memories don't trigger phantom smells.

I buried my nose in his neck for the first time in 20 years this evening and I was instantly 19 again. He smelled exactly the same and the sweetness of the memories that flooded through me brought tears to my eyes. I wanted to stay there, in his arms, in a public parking lot no less, for hours and just breathe him in.

Christ, I've missed him.

Glad.

i never thought i'd be the type of person to wish so strongly for a divorce to be final, for it to be over already so i can revel in the freedom. i never thought i'd be the type of person who would wish that type of pain on anyone. a part of me is appalled that i feel that way but the bigger part of me is so fucking relieved it's happening. i'm glad the marriage is over. i'm glad.

maybe that makes me a bad person.

i can't block it out, though. i keep thinking, 'finally'.

fucking finally.

Depth -- 100 Words

This week's word prompt from Velvet Verbosity is Depth. Here's my submission:

She Will Be Her Own Hero

She is out of money, out of time, out of her depth, and most certainly out of character. How do people do this? How do they start over and mean it?

Desperate times call for desperate measures, she's learned.

After what seems a lifetime of uncertainty, the slippery slope that was leading her towards the dark unknown has begun to provide a bit of traction for her well-worn shoes. Maybe, by moving determinedly, just maybe she'll gain a bit of a foothold in this new beginning. She wants to control her destiny. She has no faith in fate. Not anymore.

Perfectionism - 100 Words

This week's 100 Words prompt is perfectionism. I have opted to use perfection instead. Here goes:

Mostly unobtainable, except...

While human beings always strive for perfection, it is rarely obtainable – no matter how hard we try. But every once in a while, something special comes along to challenge the status-quo. We are gathered here in witness to - and in celebration of - one such example of near-perfection. They started out with next to nothing and built an empire of family out of their astonishing love and blind faith in each other. They are my ideal of obtainable perfection, and I strive to learn from their example. So, to Mom and Dad and their 45 years together. Cheers!

Chasm - 100 Words

Finally! After a bit of a hiatus, I have a 100 Words entry. Here's my entry for the prompt 'chasm':

Starting on His Bucket List

Fourteen days ago, he decided to sell as many of his belongings as possible, to donate what was left, and to hit the road. The thrilling part of this whole thing, to him anyway, is that he has no idea where he is going yet. He will let a map of the Americas and a dart be his guide. He isn't picky, he just wants to experience everything he can on this, his Best Adventure. And if it just so happens that his route takes him over a chasm or two...well, he might finally try his hand at base jumping.