That smell - 100 Words, plus 106.

I've heard that smell is one of the strongest sense triggers of memories. I scoffed at the idea of this. How in the world could smell trigger memories? Memories are visions. I remember distinctly the color of the sky on that day in '77 when the world turned green during that storm, but I don't remember the smell of the rain. I remember the sunlight bouncing off my brother's hair as we played in the pool on hot summer days in '84, but I don't remember the smell of the chlorine. I remember the look on my best friend's face when she told me in '01 that she was pregnant but I don't remember the smell of the lunch we were eating. Tonight, science was proved right: the smells trigger the memories, the memories don't trigger phantom smells.

I buried my nose in his neck for the first time in 20 years this evening and I was instantly 19 again. He smelled exactly the same and the sweetness of the memories that flooded through me brought tears to my eyes. I wanted to stay there, in his arms, in a public parking lot no less, for hours and just breathe him in.

Christ, I've missed him.

Glad.

i never thought i'd be the type of person to wish so strongly for a divorce to be final, for it to be over already so i can revel in the freedom. i never thought i'd be the type of person who would wish that type of pain on anyone. a part of me is appalled that i feel that way but the bigger part of me is so fucking relieved it's happening. i'm glad the marriage is over. i'm glad.

maybe that makes me a bad person.

i can't block it out, though. i keep thinking, 'finally'.

fucking finally.